Ramblings Of A Rambler

Theme: New Years! Happy new year's everyone. I hope everyone has a good one. I'm all excited for the near year. I have no new year resolutions, just lots of activities I guess. March 4th - Birthday March 11th - Amsterdamn 4th April - Ghost Hunt 1st May - Ghost Hunt October ?- Florida I have things to look forward too. Things to keep me going. I hope this year is going to be a better year for me. I hope I'm going to be okay.

Theme:  Hermit Not feeling very good today. After all the events of yesterday. Sat in my wardrobe for a bit and spent the rest of the day in my room. Surfacing a few times only for alcohol and food. I don't want anyone to see me.

Theme: Work I feel like crap. I've self harmed. I have no one. I've managed to start an argument at work with the shit stirring-ness of a nurse. She has completely miss-interpreted a conversation I had with her and laid it back to this HCA, who now hates me. I'm so alone.

Theme: Medication It really feels like my medication (citalopram) isn't working. Not that it matters. I give up.

Theme: Sleep my pretty! I had to go hospital with a patient tonight. She hates my guts, but funnily enough, I find it hilarious. The way she expresses hate for you, it's just so childish so it makes it easier to like kill her with kindness, wind her up more. Anyway, when I arrived at the hospital she was asleep, thank god. I had hoped she sleep the whole night. She didn't, but it was long enough for me to read like half of my hunger games book. She woke up. Her first words? "I wan't a fag". I told her I have her lighter and am ready when she is. "Well you've been in my pocket and stolen it then!". Yeah okay dear, whatever, let's just go outside for a fag and I'll drop you off at the morgue you stupid tit.

Theme: Boxing day Day after christmas. Expect nothing from me.

Theme: Christmas! Been a lovely day today. Had all the family round, had the typical turkey dinner. I was really spoiled with presents, I certainly wasn't expecting this much (List below of what I got). Damn I'm lucky. I'm in bed now just relaxing and watching paranormal witness. How quick christmas is over though. It's been a good day. Just a shame it goes so fast.  Chocolate Pj's Books Slippers Socks Pandora Charms Gruffalo Merchandise DVD'S Clothes Soap & Glory Perfume & shit loads more!

Theme: Christmas eve Just got back from Sarah's house. I'm still pretty sick so I'm just dossing around waiting to got o bed. I'm so excited for christmas. I feel like a kid. I hope I wake up feeling better though. I'm deaf in one ear now. Bless Sarah for putting up with me. It was nice to see her before Christmas though. I've filled like a whole asda back up with snot tissues within one night. I'm such a minger. Oh well, not long now till parents santa brings presents! I'm honestly not expecting much to be fair as I know my parents have brought me a few pandora charms and they can be expensive, so I don't expect anything.

Theme: Sarah's I'm going round Sarah's house to stay the night today. I'm still sick but not as bad. I'm just tired. It will just be nice to see her before christmas and to have a catch up. I hope she's doing okay.

Theme: Ill Oh dear god, I felt the sore throat hit me the moment I walked out my work's office. Everyone at work has the damn cold and I know I've got it. It's got worse really rapidly and I just feel like death. I desperately want to go home. Luckily I'm on float the last two hours of work so I'm going to request to go home early. There shouldn't be an issue as there isn't anything to do at that time. I just don't want anyone to talk to me and I just want to crawl into bed.

Theme: Girl problems I've had some issues with this girl and I feel a bit led on actually. She's left me feeling really confused and un wanted. I'm actually really pissed at her. I don't know if I mentioned her in my blog or not, and I'm not going to go into great detail about her, because some people are simply not worth writing about. A waste of my damn time. Stupid skanky hoe. Note to self: Ex's are ex's for a damn reason. Keep them in the past. It's where they belong. 

Theme: Ghost Hunting Gear I've brought some ghost hunting gear. I don't know if I said in other blog's? I often forget what I blog about. When it all come's I will do a quick blog on each item to explain on what does what and how awesome they all are. I'm so damn excited. I can't cope.

Theme:  Piercing Two of my collar bone piercing's are looking dreadful. I'm terrified they will reject and scar so badly they can't re-pierce. I want them there for my wedding day. They are just so cute and shiny. I love dermals. I'm always having problems with my ear dermal because I keep playing with it. But by problems I mean that the gem keeps popping off. Nothing major. I could fix it myself if I didn't have shrek hands and had patience. I just hope if they go so wrong that they are re-pierceable. 

Theme: Eurgh. I'm still cleaning out my blog. I've got about half way. It's taking me forever, but I'm getting there so when I look back it doesn't look so messy. 

Theme: Wardrobe Sometime's when I feel really mentally unwell I will sit in my wardrobe. But this is only when I'm well and truly unstable. I called Charlie for some help but she was just pissed off that I woke her up so I hung up, then I called Samaritans for the first time in my life. Usually I email them. But there voice was just so robotic and it was if I wasn't talking to a human. So I called Mark. Thank fuck for him. I felt like I was impossible to calm down but he helped out pretty fast. Even made me giggle. If it wasn't for him I'd still be in the wardrobe in complete hysterics. It really meant a lot to me that he was there for me. Especially when he offered to come round. It made me feel a less alone big style. I called him because I knew he would understand. He has amazing listening skills and is a wonderful person. He has that calming effect on people and I trust him. 

Theme: Bidding I'm bidding for some ghost hunting equipment on ebay. I've got to wait all the way until 12:20 tomorrow to find out if I have it. Luckily enough for me most people are at work then and it's my day off tomorrow so I have time to sit by the computer. I want it!

Theme: Nails I'm getting my nails done tomorrow. I'm so excited. My nails look and feel like shit. I'm going for a christmas theme (obviously). Then after that I'm off to see the Hobbit with Steve. I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight because even now I feel overcome with excitement. Fuck my life.

Theme: Sleepover Stayed another night at Sarahs and going home later today. We've slept so much today, we both feel so drained from the ghost hunt. We both feel like all our energy has just been completely zapped out of us. I think when I get home today I'm just going to go straight to bed and chill. Lazy bitch, ha.

Theme: Success! The ghost hunting was a success! I loved it! I've always wanted to visit the towers, and it was an absolutely amazing building. Just so beautiful. As far as ghost hunting activity goes, a fair bit happened. We used ouija board's multiple times and they worked each time. We met some very cheeky ghosts. We didn't meet anything bad or negative we got to have a laugh with the ghost's and they seemed to enjoy it and play along. one ghost, before they left they spelt out on the board "fuck, goodbye". Charming. We were allowed time to wonder off on our own which me and Sarah did. As there were two girls in our group which were really annoying and over taking everything. I ended up walking off from them at one point because everytime I asked the ouija board a question, they would repeat it, almost as if the spirit would only respond to her? Then she tried to make out that I got emotional and scared. Bitch please, I do ouija boards on my own. Anywa...

Theme: Ghost Hunting Getting ready to go ghost hunting now. Everything is packed, torches are at the ready. I'm so excited. I'm excited just to see the building. I wonder what it's like. I hope we have at least one paranormal experience. 

Theme: Night shift Just gotta get through tonight's night shift and then I'm going to be staying at Sarah's getting ready to go on be ghost hunt down at "The towers" the old psychiatric unit. I'm so excited. I'm just wizzing through tonight's night shift. Everything is all packed and ready. Excited.

Theme: Woah Another nice night shift, twice in a row. I actually felt okay about coming into work tonight. It's a lot less pressure at work. There's one patient that get's on my tits but only because she's so slow and pathetic that it irritates me. She's no problem. She just annoys me. But I'm easy to irritate. I just don't believe in baby-ing people. She want's to be babied.

Theme: Lovely It's been a lovely night shift. I pretty much spent six hours with my favourite patient and it was wonderful. No incidents, no problems no nothing. Really nice and relaxing night. Now that the most troublesome patient has gone the atmosphere is completely different. It's nice.

Theme: Anxious I feel really anxious about going to work tomorrow. I haven't slept. I feel highly on edge and sick. Little thing's are just overwhelming me. It's best for me to just sit out the way and at least try to shut my mind off. With some luck I can sleep through today and forget tomorrow.

Theme: Family guy I brought some family guy dvds a few days a go (season 1-11) so I'm just sat home alone, doing what I want and watching it. All our Christmas decorations are up and the house is really relaxing. I'm so tired though. I think I've just been really anxious lately and it's burning up all my my energy. It's easier to be asleep then awake and thinking.

Theme: Ouch! I have some really bad period pain today. I don’t get it. I had to take some tramadol and plug my magnet in. I’m pretty sure I’ve spoken about my magnet before, it’s pictured on the left. I clip it onto my underwear and it’s practically a lifesaver. It work’s really well with my coil. Considering I was on morphine for my period pain. It really reduces the pain and I don’t understand how. I might actually message the company, because this simple magnet has given me my life back. I’m able to function again. Anyway, it was just a pain in the arse today because I kept waking up in the night feeling the stabbing pain.

Theme: Backdating Nothing to say really. Just backdating and updating everything. It's a day off today which is lovely so I'm just dossing around. Seven more days and I'm ghost hunting.

Theme: Nightmares I keep having nightmares. It's getting a bit much. I wake up in the middle of the night after having had one. I'm lucky though because it doesn't take me long to get back sleep and I always forget them when I actually wake up in the morning. I'm so tired.

Theme: Beats I decided to treat myself to a pair of headphones today. I had to go posh and expensive and got myself the pink ‘beats’ headphones by dre. I just have to wait for delivery. I probably should have waited till after christmas with the amount of post that’s going around and there’s a higher chance of it getting lost. I just couldn’t wait though. I got £90 off of them so I couldn’t pass off a bargain really. They look so damn cute. 

Theme: Ghost Hunt Not much longer until my ghost hunt. I’m so excited. I feel like I’ve waited a year for this. I’m staying around Sara’s afterwards so I will be giving her, her christmas presents afterwards which will be nice. I hope she’s feeling a bit better since the last time I seen her. It’s so heartbreaking to see her unwell.

Theme: Christmas Woah, December already. How quick this year has come and gone. All my shopping is pretty much finished, all the wrapping is done. It’s just a waiting game to finish work now for christmas. I’m excited. Although, I roughly know what I’m getting. Pandora charms mainly. I’m excited to get them on my band and see which ones i’ve got. I always get spoiled at christmas so no doubt my mums brought me other little bits too. I know she’s brought me some gruffalo thing’s too.