Ramblings Of A Rambler

Theme: Shock I can't believe as of the 29th January, I started blogging that date four years ago. Four years was my goal to get to. I am so proud of myself for making it this long without missing a date. This whole blog has just been painfully truthful. It's weird to see how much I have grown. I love it. I'm obviously going to keep going. I wonder what this year has install for me.

OMFG FOUR  YEARS  OF BLOGGING

Theme: Date Went on a date today. I was actually pretty unsure of the person at the start who we shall call 'Red' for now. I guess I was unsure because he wears more make-up then me and has a better lingerie section then I do. It's not really the type I go for. In fact it's the type I run away from but I decided to give him a chance. It was a lovely date and treated me really nice. I will be seeing him again soon. We spoke about doing thing's for valentines day before I got my February rota. The one time someone want's to spend valentines day with me, I'm bloody working.

Theme:  Back Back from Charley's. I'm pretty shattered so I'm just buggering off to bed. Whilst Charley was at university I cleaned her room out for her. One of her cups had bloody mould in it. Minger. I'm also still a bit shocked from yesterday. What a  tit.

Theme:  Threesome Oh. Dear. God. I never thought I would have that for a blog entry title and have it literally mean it. But I do. I went to Charley's house and her male friend came round. I don't really know what to say now from there. It happened, it was pretty good, and I wouldn't say no to the next time. I've never even kissed a black guy, but all that changed today. I feel like I need to start living life a bit more and doing more crazy thing's. Oh dear god. Anyway, on the way to Charlie's house her car broke down on the M6 because she ran out of petrol. Luckily, the petrol station was in eyesight so we had to walk it, get some petrol and walk back to the buggered car. Ha.

Theme:  Puppy! Getting the new puppy Saturday. She's called 'Holly'. I'm so excited. Brought her a ton of new toys. i brought her the cutest pink collar with a matching lead (click  here  to see) None of my family are really sure on what breed she is. I think she's a colly cross mystery. Ha. RSPCA (where we are getting her from) say she has Husky in her but my family nor myself can see it. She's beautiful though. So so tiny. I can't wait to spoil my princess.

Theme: Reading There hasn't been much to do today, other then read. So I've just sat downstairs on my kindle reading and creating a wish list. I wish I had more money. Gah.

Theme: Cold The house still feel's cold without my dog. We are all just trying to move on, but still remember her. We left her at the vets. I feel sad. 

Theme: Jess I came home from Sarah's today. I asked my mum about Jess and apparently she went very quickly which was good. I did think of her whilst I was at Sarah's. Even whilst I was stoned. I hope wherever she is, she's okay. The house is very weird without her. It almost feel's cold with her not being here.

Theme: Jess Had to put my dog down today. I went to Sarah's house because I didn't want to be around when they did it. This is a backdate, and I can honestly say, I really miss her. The house just isn't the same. She was such a good dog. She was fourteen and had problems with her liver and had arthritis like, everywhere. She wasn't eating much either and struggling to generally move. Wherever she is now, I hope she's happy. I hope she's pain free. 

Theme: Tidy I plan to do another blog tidy soon. Just clean up some entries, make sure there all spaced out right. Add more detail to where need's adding.

Theme: Whoops A backdate. Who knows what occurred. 

Theme: Feeling I'm feeling much better then what I did yesterday. I don't even remember what set me off yesterday.

Theme: Idk Sometimes it's just easier to cut yourself rather then speak out. There goes two months clean. I didn't want to recover anyway.

Theme:  Micro-Pig I think my mum is going to agree to get a micro pig. I'm so excited. I want to call it Peppa. Peppa pig. How cute. I hope there's outfit's out there so I can dress her up. She can sit on my lap whilst I cuddle her. I love animals. 

Theme:  New Facebook Decided to get a new facebook so that I wouldn't be so triggered. Not only that, clean it all up, add all family members and make sure whatever I post is family safe, yknow?

Theme: You Dickhead A member off staff that I would actually consider being a friend decided to tell the patients that I can only eat liquidised food today. It's not her information to tell. It's private and personal to me . Who on earth does she think she is? When I mentioned it to her, she wasn't even sorry she was just like "well they might think you've had a bad tooth." Well no. I've been off for a month, I'm loosing weight and only allowed to eat mush. There going to put 2-2 together. They aren't fucking stupid. I'm so highly pissed off, I don't know what to do. Then after she told the patients that, she moved on to making racial jokes about how when she see's a muslim, she always think's if they will be the next people to bomb the country. Are you serious? Thank fuck I have five days off after today.

Theme:  Meh I'm going around Sarah's next week. Haven't seen her in such a long time. I don't get excited when she ask's me to do thing's anymore because I'm so used to her letting me down. I feel nothing about it. She's selfish and doesn't care, so why should I?

Theme: Rib Cage I can't sleep comfortably anymore since I lost so much weight. There's no padding around my rib cage so my ribs just dig into me. Boo.

Theme: Work I don't want to be back at work. I'm happy not working and getting paid. Ha.

Theme: Back Went back to work. Went fine. Same old shit. Boring. Nothing new, same old drama. Like I never went.

Theme: Work I have work tomorrow. I'm nervous yet glad to be back. I pray that this year I won't get in trouble for anything.

Theme:  Refurbish I've had a refurb! I've had my nails, hair, eyelashes, eyebrows and a new piercing! I had my tragus done. I now have fifteen piercing's on my ears now. Go me! I've lost so much weight in my face I'm feeling so much better.

Theme:  Flashbacks Im really struggling with flashbacks. They seem to be constant. I wish I had control over my own mind.

Theme:  Snap! Same as yesterday really. Spent the day playing on my xbox and just being careful. My stomach scares the crap out of me. Haha.

Theme: Backdate Nothing to report. Experiencing a bit of pain in my stomach so I'm just sort of slothing around and being careful.

Theme: Jess My dog Jess is going to the vet's today. She's really not well. She isn't eating and she's so old now. I think we will have to put her down soon, which will be sad. She's been a loverly dog.

Theme: Clothes Brought some new clothes for work. I'm looking forward to going back and getting into the old routine again, however, I know when my foot steps into the front door I'll be thinking I don't want to be here.

Theme: Lazying Just lazying about looking for new clothes for work. I want to look different when I go back.

Theme: Backdate No idea what happened today. I more than likely just sat around watching christmas movies and sleeping.

Theme:  New Years Day Nothing. Like I said below. I don't celebrate new years. The family is just chilling and watching movies.