Two Hundred & Forty Two

Theme: Pet Peeves & Awful Dates

This is going to sound so bad, but I went on a pity date with someone yesterday who, without sounding up my own arse likes me. Somehow, this person managed to tick of all of my pet peeves. So I just thought I'd list my date pet peeves (in general)

Emile Hirsch - If your not Emile  your chances are automatically lessened.

Teeth - if you have gunky, yellow teeth, my eyes will only be focused on them. The person I saw yesterday had a block of gunk in their teeth which could pass off as a tooth on its own. I don't aim for straight pearly whites, but I don't necessarily aim for teeth that resemble a wotsit either.

Phones - If you "like" me so much, then don't be tap tap tapping on your phone every two seconds. It makes me want to tap tap tap your face....with my fist.

Paying Attention - If I say something and you come back with a completely different answer, I guess that could be classed as a slight give away that your not paying attention. 

Hair - I'm not to fussed if the hair is messy or whatever. But grease. I should be running my hands through silky soft hair, not a whole jar of gel.

Intelligence - If you have the intelligence of a gold fish and you make me feel as though it is necessary for me to constantly correct you, I will. You need to learn from your stupidity. Think of it as a way of installing brain cells. 

Smell - If you smell of cigarettes, alcohol, vomit or anything unusual, stay the fuck away from me. If you smell of peaches or general male aftershave and none of the above apply to you, my bed, now.

Clingyness - Don't text me every minute of the day with what your feeling's. I don't care. I don't want you sucking on my face or constantly wanting my attention either. Also, don't moan I'm being distant. Go find something to busy yourself with. However, if your Emile Hirsch, you can busy yourself with me. 

Impressing Me - It's easy to impress me, but by taking me to a park that seem's to have a few drug addict's scuttling around, probably isn't one of the ways to do this.

Talking About The Ex - Every human being knows this is a rule that shouldn't be broken. You don't talk about the ex. Especially on a first date.

Forgetting Your Dates Name - I won't lie, I have no idea how the person managed it but they did. The person hugged me to say goodbye and when we departed, the person shouted "See you soon, Lauren." Who's this Lauren chick? Dear lord.