Ramblings Of A Rambler

Theme: Tattoo! Got a new tattoo today. On my leg/ankle. There's nothing that can possibly describe tattoo pain. It's a completely new pain in its own right. It's the biggest tattoo I have ever had (an anchor with flowers) but its so damn beautiful. It took about 2.5 hours. I can't wait for it to hurry the hell up and heal. I was going to get my CVH piercing today but couldn't because I didn't have the money with me. I'm getting it tomorrow. Chances are its going to be done by a male piercer, I won't lie, I'm not keen on that, however, I know he will do it correctly and safely and to be honest, that's all I really need to worry about. Anyway, thanks again devils own for the new works! I have also had my hair professionally dyed. It's like a brown but in the light in shines red. I love it! Thanks to my mum and unknowingly my dad for paying for it all!

Theme: What? I still don't feel well. Ever since I had my fit it's like I've gone missing. A whole part of me that was there before isn't there now. Instead I'm just tired. It's three days later, usually I return to my normal self the day after. I don't know what to do with myself. I'm not me any more. I've got to to go the Job Centre today to go to this apprenticeship meeting. I don't want to do an apprenticeship. I've made that clear. I especially don't want to go today. I wish I could explain how I'm feeling but I can't. I'm just missing. I'm still bruised up to high heaven from the hospital needles and in between my two fits I came up in a huge rash, I still have it on the side often face. I'm tired. Maybe if I have some undisturbed sleep I will return to my normal self?

Theme: Aye? Backdating is a bitch when you can never remember what you done that day. My bad.

Theme: Epilepsy, Take Two. It's the day after my seizure. I can't say I feel my greatest. My tongue is severely chewed up from it and I'm still so fucking pissed about my driving, one more year and I could have been for free. I'd have had the "get go" to be able to drive. I want my own little motor so damn bad.

Theme: Epilepsy. I had another epileptic fit. I was at home at the time. I don't remember much. My tongue is absolutely killing me from where I have bitten it. What happened was that I was being sick, I went into a fit, woke up and started being sick again and then I went into another fit. I've never had two fits in one night before. My main upset is my driving. You obviously can't drive if your having fits. I'm disappointed in myself for it. I'm scared about it. I have no idea what this is going to leave me with in the future. I remember my doctor saying that after a while my tegratol, which is what I am on to control it won't work any more  I'm just in a lot of pain at the moment with my tongue and very upset over my driving.

Theme: Weightloss Results! I never mentioned my weightloss results! I got them Monday I think? I have lost a stone and a half in just over a month. I've lost six inches of my stomach so I can now fit into my old jeans. My top size used to be a size 28 I am now a size 22, the only thing that's actually stopping me from being a size 22 are my boobs. They don't want to shrink. I'm cool with that.

Theme: Backdating I'm backdating. I have no idea what I did on this day. It's a Friday, so chances are I went cinema with Steve. Yes! Yes I did! We went to see Mama. My anxiety seems to be really high lately so someone fucking sneezing in the cinema and you had to scrape me off the ceiling. I think Steve needs to bring a spatula from now on. The film was good, but, I don't think I'd watch it again.

Theme: Thanks A Lot Knobcenter I went to the jobcenter today, which my iPhone rightfully keeps auto correcting as Knobcenter, which is cool, I can roll with that. Basically the Knobcenter are making me go back to college. Not happy. It might even conflict with me going to work. I told the Knobcenter I was doing with education and what do they do? I tell you what, you don't need to be special to work there, but it helps.

Theme: Cinema! I'm off to cinema with Steve on Friday to see "mama". A new horror movie that's just came out. I think it's going to be really good because the trailer doesn't spill much about it. Apart from that there's this little girl under the bed who like's to nom nom nom people's hair. Bring on friday! I'm also going to buy a cute little box to keep all of my into the wild thing's in. I've turned into that much of a freak.

Theme: Work. Work has just been the same old to be fair. Nothing new, nothing old.

Theme: Alex Blow. I have met this beautiful, beautiful, just amazing little person through an 'Into the wild' forum. I literally want to marry the boy. I found him by him posting a photograph of a belt that he made that is identical to the one that Chris McCandless made and wore. He's making me one. He is actually making me one. Oh. My God. At first I offered him various family members, but he refused (as I would too) and we are currently sorting out an actual price which will be around £40. No amount of words can even begin to explain how much I am fangirling right now.  

Theme: Comic Con!  A group of us went to the comic con in Telford yesterday. I can't even describe how bloody brilliant it was. I cannot wait to go to next year. Granted the gear they were selling wasn't my sort of gear (apart from the hobbit/LOTR things) but with how stingy I am and how expensive they were, I didn't buy anything. I knew it would just clutter up my room so I thought I best stay away. Although, Shaun did buy an amazing hobbit style letter opener. The things people dressed up as was also immense. So many different characters and people. I didn't dress up but as soon as I got there, I was regretting it! I'd love to have fully been apart of it. It was a lot better then I thought it was. We all got a train down there which was actually really fun (sorry Shaun) and easy to change trains half way through. I really cannot get over the costumes. You could tell that some people really spent a lot of money on there costumes. For example, there was these gh

Theme: Comic Con! The day of comic con has arrived. I am nervous yet so damn excited. I have a feeling I will be too knackered to blog when I come back so this blog entry will have to do for today I am afraid!

Theme: Oooh Shaun!  Off to Shaun's tonight to sleep round hers so we can be up bright and early for the comic con. I'm so damn excited. I'm just cleaning up my room so when I come back in the Saturday I can wiggle into my bed and not get up until LATE afternoon. I just can't wait. I'm slightly nervous, I think it's because I don't know what to expect. I've packed and sorted out what I'm wearing. I'm not going to hers until 8pm and time always goes so damn slow when your excited. Ahhh! News on my grandma: She's got an infection in her head/neck. She's being treated with antibiotics and got sent home today.

Theme: Grandma My grandma went into hospital yesterday. She's having problems with her neck and her head. We have no idea why and she's having to have a scan. God knows how long she will be in there for. She's had her neck/head problems for about two weeks now. I just hope she gets well soon. She's going to have to stay in hospital overnight and possibly more.

Theme: Warm Bodies I forgot to mention I went to go see warm bodies with Shaun a few days ago. I really weren't expecting it to be as good as what it actually was. Totally worth seeing. We thought it would be some really cringy thing that you could take the piss out of, we both really liked it. I would recommend it to everyone and anyone. It was fairly funny and just so different from the normal plots. I was expecting it to be like 'Twilight' but it wasn't really. It was so much more up beat and had its quirks. Thanks Shaun :) other then cinema we both went shopping. We went to Tk max, we've both never been there before. I can't even, I think it was a bigger place then fucking narnia. We had to ask someone where the swimming gear was and he was like "back wall" ...there was no back wall. It was just a never ending place of just sports things. Trying to get to the exit must of taken is like an hour. Christ. 

Theme: Exercise I'm currently on the exercise bike doing everything in my God damn power to try and take my mind off how much this hurts. It didn't help that I forgot my water bottle, I mean really? So now I'm burning calories, yet adding them on again with some non fizzy lucozade. Bloody typical. My god my thighs feel like a zombie out break has started and a zombie has chosen my legs to munch on first. I'm only 8mins into a 15min work out.

Theme: CVH. Oh dear. Planning on a new piercing. Down there. It's going to cost me £40. I refuse to over-crowed that area. It's just no happening. I would never have the triangle piercing or anything that would over crowed the area. Otherwise it's really intimating and it looks like that area is ready to kill. I plan to get it done the same time as my tattoo so the healing can be done together and I won't have to miss out on going swimming, twice. Then this is my last piercing down there. Ever .

Theme: Sunday. It's Sunday  My one day off from gym. If anyone dare's even suggest's that I move, they are going to get one hell of an evil look. I move for no one. If that house burn's down, I either expect to be carried out or left to burn. I literally wake up in the afternoon, get a shower and change into clean pj's....that's it.

Theme: Tattoo I'm getting another tattoo for the my birthday, surprise surprise. It was a toss up between a vintage like anchor or Chris McCandless's name tattoo'd on me, in his writing. After pitching the idea's to my mum, she pretty much choose for me, ha. So I will be having the anchor this year. In a way I am kind of grateful  because I think I need another year to think about the McCandless one. I think it's been about four year's since I discovered him, maybe a little less. But It's a massive step to have someone's name tattoo'd on your body. Bring on the anchor!

Theme: Oooh, New Reader! Lately my readers have gone up. I have no bloody idea where they have come from. I know Mark read's it as well as Steve, and I think Dave read's from time to time. But I'm getting all these numbers on all my posts with how many time's someone has read them. Either they are just creepers or they are just generally interested. Which is weird as I don't actually post anything particularly interesting. This is all just more word vomit. If I think it, I type it. I'm surprised that anyone would want to read it. I'm totally grateful I have the reader's though. I'd be saddened if I knew nobody read it, otherwise it would all seem like wasted word's. Wasted word vomit. At least if I am word vomiting, there's someone out there that's interested in said vomit. Well, whoever you are, hello and welcome to my blog.

Theme: Lifehouse! I found the song I want to get married to. I don't actually know if I have mentioned this before, I may have, I often forget what I blog about and just loose track. But anyway, if I ever get married, I want my first dance to be storm by lifehouse. I plan my wedding way to much. All my partner will need to do is turn up.

Theme: Men and there "duties" I love seeing men buying "time of the month" thing's for there partner's it's the most adorable thing ever. If I was straight, I'd hate to be someone that wouldn't understand my need's when Aunt Irma was out and about. I think it's cute and it takes a good and open man to do shit like that. Thanks Shaun for the gif.

Theme: Peadobear, Take Two. I ended up telling him to stay away from me. Told him not to touch me ect. I called him an asshole, as that is what he was being. He apologised to me for everything and expected me to apologise for calling him that. No. I'm sticking to my gun's on this one. If I did or said something that offends you, and I mean it, I won't apologise, otherwise it's just a fake apology. I'll apologise if I did something, and didn't mean it. But otherwise, hell no. I refused to take it back, and refused to apologise. I strapped on my girl power. I'm going to let him have his little girl strop and see what come's of it all. 

Theme: A real life peadobear Every now and again I'll talk about the bear that I've met at the gym. Well after going swimming after a shit day at work, I climbed into an empty pool and just immersed myself in water. I felt like I washed all the shit of the day away, and that I was actually starting to feel relaxed. The pool began to fill with people and that's when I seem him, it. Wobbling into the pool to come near me. We started swimming and generally chatting, but then he started coming closer and closer. To the point where I was cornered in the pool and I could have literally imprinted myself in the tiles. He kept touching me and stroking me where I didn't want to be touched. Every time I tried to swim off he would hold my hand. One cannot swim with one hand. I pulled away and finally swam off and got my ass out of there and left him in there. I got into the shower and just had a panic attack. He was still in the pool after I had my shower. I got changed and w

Theme: Heavy Bag! I never mentioned that on Friday my brother came round to pick up a delivery that will be coming for us later that day. The problem with this is that, I wouldn't be there as I had gym. When I am there my brother snoops through my things, so I dread to think what he would do if I wasn't there. So I had to take all the things I wanted to hide from him to the gym with me. Not fun. My bag must have weighed a bloody ton. I took all my x-rated shit with me and all my letters from friends. Broken shoulder much?

Theme: Sunday blues or valentines hate? Spending another valentines alone no doubt. I'm intensely depressed about it this year. It never bothered me so much the past few years but this year, hell no. The bottom of a vodka bottle looks prettier than spending valentines day alone. All I want to know is that someone gives a shit. I've only ever spent one valentines day as a couple before and that was with Mark. He brought me some beautiful flowers, no one has ever brought me flowers before than and no one has since. They where rose, and they were all mine. i remember having them in my bedroom window. I don't care if its a fucking weed from someone's garden, I just don't want another year of being reminded what a fat, ugly little shit I am. It's such a lonely day.   

Theme: Well I Say Sir! Well I Say! I mentioned in this blog how much I wanted a certain toy from Ann Summers. Well, a certain someone, Mark! Not only found me an even cuter version of it for me, he has also ordered it for me. Omfg, omfg. It's pink, and it has a little heart on it and oh my god. Thank you so much Mark! I owe you big time + the £5 it cost. Oh my god. Oh my god. ALL HAIL MARK. 

Theme:  Reminiscing, with Shaun. I was talking with Shaun yesterday about college, and all the thing's we used to do. Skive most classes, walk into classes half way through (and have the teacher not even notice), read gay pornography in front of people, and have a passionate conversation about shrubs. I miss college. I don't miss the work, or half the people. I just missing sitting in the canteen, discussing all sorts. We used to sit and draw these silly little things , which I still have some of them. I especially remember drawing on Steve's bottle's, and going park and and getting high on boost. Oh my, can't cope..... level one.  

Theme: Swimming, with a bear. I went swimming with that person I met from the gym. He seem's like a lovely guy. He really, really is. No though, just no. He would make a lovely boyfriend...to a straight person. I find though, he sometime's makes the typical man mistake of not listening and he will just laugh assuming I've said something funny. No man, just no.