Six Hundred & Sixty Two

Theme: Relationships

I really really want to find someone. Someone who isn't a complete cunt. I've (apart from one person) only been in emotionally abusive relationships. None of my relationships have lasted particularly long. Do I deserve this? Sometimes I think I must have been a complete and utter cunt in my former life. Dispute all these emotionally abusive relationships I've been in, I would stick to that partner. Regardless of what they've done to me. I need to get married and have a kid by the time I'm thirty. I want my parents, especially my mum to be at my wedding. I need her there so so bad. I want her to see what I've accomplished and make her proud. It scares me that by now both my brothers at my age would have already found there forever partners. Where's mine? Do I not deserve it? I'm sick of feeling so low and depressed. I don't even care what gender they are any more. Ill fucking make do with what I get given, just as long as I get to see my mum on my wedding day, or hold my child. I'm so scared about my mums operation. It's this year. What if its the last time I see her? It's a major operation with lots of possible complications. I just need her to be okay.

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