Ramblings Of A Rambler

Theme: Work Just work as usual. Work then gym. I've been slacking really badly at the gym lately I need to pick my game up!

Theme: Monday? I don't even fucking know what happened to my Monday. So here, have a picture of a dog that makes me smile:  

Theme: Downer I'm on such a huge downer today. I could just do with a hug and a cry. I wish it was my time for thing's to get better. I need them to get better. When thing's get better they get better for five minutes and then they quickly crash and burn. Everyone else's life seem's to be up and running and developing the way it should be. I'm just here, jobless and loveless and just down right useless. I'm just so sick of the same shit everyday, of the same job application response. I've found someone I'm interested in lately, but I'll be honest, they are making me more miserable then they are happy. It's like I've got one big anchor pulling me down to the core of the earth and I just can't escape. Tomorrow is a different day. I've got to be okay. I'm ten day's away from Aunt Irma coming. Maybe it's her fault. I'll be honest, it usually is.

Theme: Nothingness Not doing anything today, from what I can remember (I'm backdating) Just sat around watching house and reading. Lot's of reading. I'm reading the hobbit at the moment, I can't wait to get my hands on the bloody lord of the rings books.

Theme: Altar Plaque I brought this altar plaque from etsy like months ago and it's only just got here, accept, I can't even have it. Customs put a note through my door basically holding my parcel ransom for a price of £15. I mean what the hell. I've already paid postage and packaging to the seller. I really wanted it as well. I've contacted the seller to see if the seller will do anything. Chances are she/he won't.

Theme: New clothes! After going cinema with Shaun my mum decided to take my shopping. I've brought shit load's of new clothes, and in smaller sizes! I can now fit back into asda's 'George' clothing now. Yay! I've completely blew my holiday pay though. Ouch.

Theme: Evil Dead Went to see 'Evil Dead' with Steve today. I actually liked it. Wasn't what I was expecting, Steve wasn't so keen. Although she's seen all the originals and I haven't. I do want to sit down and watch them. Anyway it was a good day out! There's some fucking awesome horror movies coming out as well which is a major plus!

Theme: Gym stalker Yeah. I've done it. I've got ANOTHER gym stalker. I prefer this one to the other one though because this one doesn't touch me. He just talks to me stupid amounts and makes it difficult to exercise. Why I gave him my damn number I will never know. He's a non stop texter as well, and he asked me out. It's cute, it really, really is. I said no, but he was a lovely guy very naive though and immature.

Theme: Work Work Work Just a normal day at work really. It's been fairly summery so afterwards I took my dog out for a walk, wearing Shaun's sunglasses (thanks Shaun) and listening to summer music! Hell yeah! I love summer, my mood lift's massively when it's hot.

Theme: Distant I've been really distant from people lately. I don't know why. I'm not doing it on purpose. I think maybe with the past few days with the whole job thing I'm just getting sick of it all and maybe it's causing me to withdraw. I'm going to try and get myself back on track. It's not just people I'm withdrawing from, it's gym to! Not good.

Theme: Sunday Done absolutely fuck all today to be honest. It's a Sunday. Who the hell does anything on a Sunday? I wake up, get a shower and get changed into clean pj's. ☮

Theme: Backdating. I'm back dating again and I can't remember what I did. How bad is that? My memory sucks. I've not been blogging for a while which is a real shame. I miss doing it. Get my ass back on track!

Theme: Leicester Culture As I mentioned in Wednesday's blog entry, about Leicester having some brilliant stalls open. As I was in town early today waiting for Steve to arrive for cinema, I thought I'd be a photographer for the day (and what an awful photographer I am) and take photo's of certain stalls that caught my eye and mingle with some people that ran these stalls. It was lovely to see all these different foods and culture's all together in one place. Especially when I got to talk to a few people, hearing all these different accents. I also wanted to get out there and try all the different thing's that where being given out as a tester. There was some nice thing's but other's where well, fucking disgusting. It was fun none the less. I brought myself a crepe to try. I've never heard of one or had one, I had it with chocolate and banana. Granted it was beyond a challenge to eat, but it was a bloody gorgeous challenge. I also picked up a Belgium c...

Theme: Dark Skies Went to see 'Dark Skies' with Steve today. It was good, but there was some scene's that made you go "...wait a minute " I'd watch it again, so it wasn't all bad. After cinema we both just wondered around shopping really. We both got caught in the rain so we ended up running inside to the entertainer, where we both looked at lego and attacked each other with cool animal puppets. Afterwards we both went to Ryman and I brought this cute journal that has a map design on it. I love anything that has map's for a design. I'd love to have a map poster above my bed. Anyway, I brought that and I'm sticking all my cinema ticket's in it. I save them for memories I guess. It's nice to look back on them. I got the idea from Steve as she also collect's the stubs. 

Theme: Ha.   Little thing's can brighten up my day. Look at him run ♥  

Theme: Emotionally Drained I feel completely and utterly emotionally drained. The past two weeks have been hell. I feel like everyone's beating a dead horse, me being that horse. I've not been going gym as much and eating more crap than usual. I just don't have the energy to go. I weighed myself today though to give me a kick up the arse and I've lost two pound. Which is all well and good, but mentally, I just don't want to be here right now. I wish Gandalf would come take me away. I'm so out of energy. I'm going cinema with Shaun tomorrow though to see 'Dark Skies' which I'm looking forward to though so, yay.

Theme: The odd life of Timothy Green Went cinema with my mum today. It was fun. We went to the one in town so first we got to do a bit of shopping. There are these really cool medieval stalls in town. Now Leicester NEVER have any cool stalls on. It's usually just shitty junk. These stalls are all actually really decent, granted there's some stuff you look at and your like "...what?" But otherwise. I brought a new ring from one of the stalls and a waffle. They have like these HUGE Nutella jars. Enough that could last you everyday for like two years. I'm going back in town Friday so I will have to take photos! Anyway, I went to see "The odd life of Timothy Green" which was a lovely little movie. I could have cried!

Theme: Cheating I don't condone cheating. If your partner is good, loving and affectionate then you have no reason to do so. However, I think if your partner treats you like shit, then cheat away. Give the fucker whats coming to him. If you ignore your girls needs, she will get her needs from someone else. Just sayin'. I don't know why I'm ranting this, but rant over.

Theme: Backdating I don't remember what I did today in all fairness. It's weird not being able to recall what you did on a certain day seeing as it wasn't so long ago. But that's just how it is. Sorry.

Theme: Friends The past few days really have been hell with the whole Pizza Hut thing, and I just want to thank my friends really, especially Steve, for being there. Letting me have my moans and such and making sure I'm okay. It really does mean a lot and I'm truly greatful. Thank you all, you homo's you. I think that's why I'm feeling a lot better about it. Because I've had my friends there to support me. Sure I'm super duper pissed, but there's nothing that can be done.

Theme: Animals I'm watching "my big fat gypsy fortune". There's this group of gypsies going round getting there dogs to hunt and kill rabbits. I just. I hate seeing animals in pain. Especially hearing them. There sounds are so heartbreaking and seeing an animal run in fear. See, some people may say its hypocritical that I eat meat. Sure it is, but my argument against that is that these animals are usually killed in a humane way and I like to think that they lived in a way that didn't cause distress. I admit it, I prefer animals to humans.

Theme: Lost my job. I've actually lost my job now. I'm fuming. Back to the job centre I go. I have to deserve this. I must do. Worst part is, is that pizza hut never bothered to tell me. I had to call them to find out. Thanks for that, wankers. Typical that the manager turned it round to be my fault, I'm not surprised at all. I still want to disappear. I'm learning to never get my hope's up about anything, if I don't get my hope's up then I can't get hurt. 

Theme: Nothing... Still heard nothing from pizza hut. Chance's are they couldn't give a flying fuck and have no intention of calling me about it. I feel sick to my stomach. I have a massive headache and I just want to sleep my time away right now. 

Theme: I must deserve this I generally do not want to be here. I want to dis the fuck appear. I failed a stupid pizza hut exam about uniform twice and because of that, I might have lost the job. It's not fair. I don't want to go back to the job centre. I can't do it again. I am so fucking useless. I am a god-damn failure. A stupid fucking failure. I just want everything to stop. Even if it's just for a second.

Theme: Lack of intelligence I just. No. I bumped into that peado guy from the gym today. Saying it was awkward was a goddamn understatement. I felt his eyes burn into my back. However, when I first seen him my eyes were literally set to kill and I did evil look the shit out of him. I said to myself today "don't take your protection sachet with you because you've not seen him in a while so it should be okay". The one fucking day, that one day when I actually see him I leave my damn sachet at home. I'm so thick. I never written down what I put in the sachet so for future reference: Mugwort, Rosemary, Rue, Dragons Blood Oil, Candle Wax

Theme: Worst day, EVER. My god I don't even know where to begin. I went to my Pizza Hut induction (part two) today. My induction was supported to start at 1pm finishing at 5pm. So what did I do? I got it wrong and I was at the doors at 9am thinking it would finish at 1pm. So basically I was fucked from the get go. Talk about getting there early.... Anyway, my second induction was done on a computer which was all well and good. However the induction that I've done today it took me four hours to do. It's just shit loads of none sense that you have to read through and loads of tests (which I kept failing) I had to keep re-doing them and at one point I failed a test sixteen times? I didn't have a break from the laptop and with aunt Irma here my back hurts already but also my knees felt like rotten wood just falling apart. The tests what so stupid and its all so damn long winded. It's kind of like "we're Pizza Hut, look at our awesome graphics, and watch ...

Theme: Tattoos! There's a few tattoo's I want to get so I felt in a blogging mood so I thought I'd note down what I want and why I want them! One - I've wanted this one for years. I remember seeing it when I was sixteen and I absolutely fell in love with it. But I also remember seeing this one tattoo a year ago thinking how much I liked it and I looked at it again recently and thought "good god, what the hell is this shit?" But four year's on and I still absolutely love it. I'd like to get it on the back of my leg and I'd also like to see what it would look like completely finished so then I can make my mind up if I want a finished one or just what's there. I know it's a little childish, that's why I haven't had it done, yet. I want to give it a little longer. Two - I've mentioned this recently when I was talking about mixing ashes with ink. So it's obvious why I want this one.  Three & Four - I know...

Theme: Induction Had my induction today. Nothing happened really just walked around the building and had to sign a few forms. Some of the people there seem nice whilst other's seem like complete cunt's. Either way, nice or not I still cannot be bothered with it. It's not because it's pizza hut, I'd feel the same way in any job. When we we're walking around the building we we're shown fire exists ect and our bomb emergency plan is to walk across to Sainsbury's petrol station. We also have two panic buttons which instantly calls the police. I know, I just know I'll be the sod that will lean on them. Joy.

Theme: Sunday Nothing happens on a Sunday. Not now, not ever. I've got my pizza hut induction tomorrow, and I still have zero feeling's on the matter. Get in, get on, get out.

Theme: What? Anyone else remember this show? Me & Ed have way to many thing's in common.    

Theme: Something's wrong. I feel nothing. About everything. I'm completely missing my emotions. I'm a Pisces so that generally makes me an emotional shit hole but lately...nothing. My induction date is on Monday for my new job. I'm not nervous, I'm not excited or scared or well, anything. Even when I have a negative thought I'm just like "cool story bro". There's nothing wrong with me, so I can't even pinpoint why I feel, or rather don't feel, like this. I've felt like it before, so I'm old enough now to know it's gonna pass.

Theme: Oooh Calories. I went to the gym again today and burned 1,176 calories. How awesome is that? Considering I eat 500-800 calories a day. I know it's dangerous to be burning more then your eating yeah yeah yeah. I'll just see how it goes yeah? Plus, as I'm eating so little yet burning so much my mum has brought me these to eat at night. Apparently calorie wise they aren't to bad either. Go me. I was looking at my leg's today, and for once they are actually straight and not spilling out everywhere.

Theme: Venuto al mondo Remember that film I mentioned in this blog entry and how I mentioned I couldn't find it anywhere? Well I decided to give Amazon one last go and it occurred to me that the real name, Italian name, for this film is 'Venuto al mondo'. What did I find? I found the DVD. I mean, I know I can lack intelligence sometime's, but really bitch, really? I ordered the shit out of it. Don't worry, I checked to see if it had English subtitles first. There is no full English version of this film, it's meant to be in Italian, as long as I can read it and I know what's happening, then I'm dtf. I'm so excited to get it, it was so damn good. I swear to god, I am fully prepared to go into lock down and never appear again until I have memorised the script like I did with 'Into The Wild.'

Theme: Thou shalt not move Good lord I'm shattered. I feel a little bit ill as well too, but I know it will pass. Unlike Steve, she's dog sick, feel better soon mofo. All I'm doing today is recovering, watching more Jersey shore and hopefully squeezing in some house too. As I just started swimming again and my gym plan is harder, I am now burning just over 1000 calories a day. Vare nice.

Theme: Alton Towers As you know, I went to Alton Towers with Steve today. It was actually really good. It was a lot bigger then I thought it would be, I'm just so happy that I went. That's something of my bucket list! There we're a few downer's though, we we're walking around for about half an hour before we came across a ride. We both said we should have planned it out, it would have also been better if it was summer! If we could have walked around in jeans and a t-shirt as we were both under layers and layers! I wore a long sleeved t-shirt, a cardigan, a jumper, a coat, scarf & gloves. But it was good, and I certainly don't regret going. I'd go back, just...in the summer. The ride's we went on were: Rita, Nemesis Sub-Terra, Nemesis 2, Flume, Rapids, Mine Train & Duel. We were walking towards Air but after seeing them go backwards on there stomach I had to admit, I wussed out. Also, later on, I saw pictures of people going backwards on ther...

Theme: EXCITE! Steve is coming around later to sleep for the journey into Alton Towers tomorrow. I'm so excited I can barley contain myself. I'm just cleaning my room and catching up on some Jersey shore episode's. Yes I watch Jersey shore, and I watch it with pride! Anyway, as Steve is coming round tonight the people that need to be weary tonight are: Ben, Gumtree people, Omegle people. Be warned.