Ramblings Of A Rambler

Theme: It's Shaun The Gimp! Had such an awesome time at Shaun's! We watched the road the El Dorado which brought back so many childhood memories. I got things in the film that I didn't get when I was younger. We also messed about on omegle and chatroulette. We had such an awesome time on there, meeting all sorts of weird and wonderful people, as well as many of many penis's. We also did a scavanger hunt on there. We ended up giving up as there was always one item left over that no one had. I mean, it took us like two hours to find a cup! At some stage Shaun got her gimp deatheaters mask out and we just trolled the site for reactions, as some of which were brilliant. I wish I had print screened them now. I also got a buying offer! They wanted to swap me for two goats. It was a done deal. We had a laugh. Thank you so much Shaun ♥

Theme: Packed. All packed and ready to go to Shaun's. I cannot wait! Bring it on!

Theme: I'm Loved! When I logged into facebook today, I noticed a few people had lovely messages left for them. I didn't have any. It didn't bother me. As I know in my past I have recieved message's of the nature before. I just realised how much that I had actually missed them. But after an hour later Dave popped up out of the blue to tell me he love's me and that I'm the best. Thanks Dave. :)

Theme: Right Then Robin! Brace Yourself! Off to Shaun's tomorrow. Cannot wait. Just thinking about all the crap that I should pack. I always over think the packing stage. I know that when my mum arrives at Shaun's with my bag's it will be as though I've moved out. Anyway. Here's my to pack list: Put in college bag: Laptop/Charger Camera Webcam Easypeirce Pills (Of the legal kind) Wallet Get mum to bring over: Blanky Pillow Pj's Emile Hirsch Socks Underwear Emile Hirsch Phone Charger Straightners Deodrant Emile Hirsch Hairbrush Teethscrubbers Emile Hirsch...Naked.

Theme: Crisis! I got my oh so beautiful Emile Hirsch poster today. So he is officially in my house. In my bedroom. Anom. Unfortunetly, he is on my desk at the moment as this dick head right here forgot that in order to stick posters up, you need blue tack. Guess what I don't have? Anyone care to donate me a blob? When I came downstairs I pulled the exact same face as Sheldon on the left, and I had the same disappointed look as him when I realised I was blobless. Damn it.

Theme: Shaun. Nothing's really happened. It's been really quiet past few days and the only reason I'm blogging because Shaun is on blog patrol. It's usually me telling her!

Theme: Blind & Deaf. The temperature in the United Kingdom is absolutely boiling at the moment. So I have thought "fuck it, my dad doesn't know about my tattoo, but he can fuck off if he think's I'm covering up." Dispute the fact I have been walking around in a string top and I have my back to him often enough, he hasn't even noticed. The man must be blind as well as deaf! He's gotten to the put where the TV volume has to be on fifty...

Theme: Erotica, Take Two. I need something to throw myself into. Just to sort of take myself out of my own mind for a bit. When I read it's like I'm somewhere else. The perfect thing about reading is that I can look at my book collection and I can go into any world that I choose and I can leave it when I want. When I was writing the first short erotica book it was like the same thing. My mind was purely focused on that and I blocked out any negative feeling's that I was feeling at that time. So, I think I'm going to write my second book. I might not upload it to amazon, it might just be something to keep me sane whilst I'm feeling so lost right now.

Theme: Feelings. I'm feeling a little better then yesterday. If not just a little lonely. Other than that, today hasn't really consisted of anything other then sitting on tumblr and just shifting through my music to organise it that somewhat better. 

Theme: Relationships. I feel incredibly lonely and I just want what you see in the movies. I want that special someone that you can tell all your secrets to, someone that can make me laugh and make me feel special again. Right now, I feel like nothing. I feel like I'm not important and that I don't matter to anyone. I want to be able to fall asleep with someone and wake up next to them. I want someone who can see past my flaws and for me to see past theirs. I want to walk down the street hand in hand and to be able to walk in a room and that person make me feel like I'm the only girl in there. I want to feel like I'm worthy of love. "Some people feel like they don't deserve love. They walk away quietly into empty spaces, trying to close the gaps to the past."  - Into The Wild ♥

Theme: Pregnancy. I'm Pregnant! Haha, jokes. My mum just now decided to inform me that I can't actually get pregnant without speaking to a doctor first. If I was to get pregnant now, I'd have to terminate. As I am on tegratol, which is an epilepsy drug, it will cause complications for the unborn baby, resulting, in me having to have a termination. The only way I can get pregnant safely is by discussing it with my doctor and having to have a pregnancy plan. No accident children for me. For once, I actually do not know what to say. I mean I wasn't planning on having kids for two obvious reason's, but, it's still like, what if I do want a sprog? 

Theme: Dream Come True? Okay, so my friend has just informed me that by the end of this week he will have a sex shop set up. It will be very cheap compared to the usual market price. I think I've fallen in love with you Mr.Burrows. I am so damn excited. He can literally get me anything. This calls for a porn gif!

Theme: I'M MELTING! My days, it's hot, I feel like I'm slowly dying. On the plus, I managed to do some cooking today! I made some rice crispy cakes. The cakes alone are the number one cause for diabetes without the amount of golden syrup I put in them. Oops.

Theme: Pet Peeves & Awful Dates This is going to sound so bad, but I went on a pity date with someone yesterday who, without sounding up my own arse likes me. Somehow, this person managed to tick of all of my pet peeves. So I just thought I'd list my date pet peeves (in general) Emile Hirsch - If your not Emile  your chances are automatically lessened. Teeth - if you have gunky, yellow teeth, my eyes will only be focused on them. The person I saw yesterday had a block of gunk in their teeth which could pass off as a tooth on its own. I don't aim for straight pearly whites, but I don't necessarily aim for teeth that resemble a wotsit either. Phones - If you "like" me so much, then don't be tap tap tapping on your phone every two seconds. It makes me want to tap tap tap your face....with my fist. Paying Attention - If I say something and you come back with a completely different answer, I guess that could be classed as a slight give away that your

Theme: Emile Hirsch Day! I had an unintentional Emile Hirsch day! I came home from town to see him a DVD on my doorstep. 'The Darkest Hour' the plot of the film made the acting seem fairly bad. Kind of like a bunch of kid's have just uploaded something to YouTube. However, it was the first Emile Hirsch movie my mum has sat through, she was impressed. However, he's mine. So she can keep her hands off. When he went to kiss someone in the film, I could actually feel the deadly sin of jealousy well up inside me. I am such a crazy stalker that is craving for a restraining order. I bet when people read these blogs they think there reading a blog of an obsessive thirteen year old....wrong! Anyway, after that I watched Speed Racer. Owft, awesome film. If anyone want's to buy me these , I will owe them my soul. It's a doll figure of Emile, I mean come on!

Theme: Coursework! I would say I'm charging through this coursework, but I'm not. I'm just slowly crawling my way through it. However, the end is near!

Theme: Meh. Today has been filled with, well, nothingness. I have either sat on my side of the sofa or sat at my desk watching films. Although, this morning I was greeted with a bacon and egg sandwich.  

Theme: Checking I'm Not A Peado. Okay, so I decided in a change of a laptop screensaver. However, the picture I wanted (above) is a picture of Emile Hirsch when he was super young. However, I didn't want to have it on my screensaver in case he was below the legal age. It would make me feel a little bit peado-like ooggling over what could potenially be someome under age. So yeah, I did the awkward thing and worked out how old he was when he was filming 'The emperor's club' as that is where the picture is taken from. 

Theme: Aunt Irma So I went to the doctors and guess what they tried to do? Just palm me off with more painkillers. I felt like going postal. They won't give me the pill so the whole trip there was pointless. I am fuming. What am I meant to do about work? I can't keep having days off. 

Theme: HIV I did the HIV presentation today, it went well. Was approached by some shaky random hoping that we would test him right there and then. Slightly awkward. Anyway, I felt a bit ill half way through, so Shaun got her feelings out and looked after me. Thanks Shaun. It meant a lot. :)

Theme: Shaun I just want to say well done Shaun, well done. This is because she went for a job interview/test at the hospital. I hope she does well in her upcoming interview next week! Good god, I missed her today. As clingy as it sounds, I haven't laughed at all today at college. No one get's my humour like Steve get's my humour. 

Theme:   HIV I have been working so hard on on this HIV project which I am stupidly excited about presenting tomorrow. I have hunted for ages for some decent posters and I managed to find some just now. Woop. So wish Shaun & I  bare luck on this! I won't lie, doing this project has opened my eyes a little bit, as usually I'm terrified of this sort of thing. I wouldn't say I was oblivious to it, I think I was just more taken in by the stereotypes, or that HIV was can be transferred in more easier ways i.e kissing, but I was wrong. In my back of my mind, I knew I was wrong. I guess I just didn't want to believe it, so I am grateful for educating myself and opening my eyes. I just hope presenting tomorrow goes well.

Theme: Stomach Cramps Okay, so Aunt Irma has came to visit. I am in so much pain I came home from work in tears. Not only that, because of it, I have been so pissy with people today. I'm going to the doctors as soon as I can to demand something off them. They usually send me away with shit painkillers that never work. So, I'm going to see if I can get some contraception, as that usually helps with periods. Contraception of choice? The implant. Chances are I'd forget to take my pills and it would be kind of cool to have something in my arm that I could play with.

Theme: American Pie, The Reunion. Stop whatever it is your doing and go see it. Go. Now. I demand you. I dragged Shaun to the cinema with me today to see it. Bare in mine that every single movie I have ever dragged the poor girl too, has been absolute shit. She told me I redeemed myself with this one. Sophie do good :) "Hey guys look! A Vagina Shark!" "Jim's wish? Hopes to have the sex life of Ricky Martin" ♥

Theme: Sex This is my blog, so I will post what I want to. I am so incredibly sexually frustrated it's unreal. Four weeks is a long, long time. The image below has now made my blogspot an 18+ only. So it's time for me to fiddle with my setting's....I have plenty more images like that. This is just the beginning. 

Theme: What I Look For In A Relationship Since my conversation with my Shaun, I have been thinking about what it is I actually look for in a relationship and to be honest, the picture on the left (Emile Hirsch) is what I look for in a relationship. Just gimmie that and I'm settled. Anom. But on a serious note. I'd want to find someone that makes me laugh. Nothing grates me more than a boring person. I would want someone with an edge but at the same time, I want something who is more than happy to just cuddle on the sofa with a DVD and fat people's food. I need affection. NEED IT. Otherwise, I would just feel highly neglected and become resentful. Ha. I'm alright with public display of affection. Only to a small degree. A small  kiss and hand holding is fine with me. I can't deal with face suckers, so the thought of the general public watching my face get mauled apart would freak me out a little. I'd like them to be taller then me. Even if it's only by a li

Theme: Sex Before Marriage I went out with a friend last night and she thought I didn't believe in sex before marriage. I laughed in her face. I couldn't wait that long. I just couldn't. I've gone two weeks without self-love and well, I'm bored! It's been hell in all honesty. Anyway, not only that, I want to go on a test drive so to speak before I'm married to someone. I wouldn't want to marry someone who is shit in bed. I'd shrivel up and die. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't climb into bed with every person I meet. I would HAVE to be in a relationship with them. Even then, I would still wait a while before I climb into bed with them. My idea relationship timeline would be something like this: Two/Three Weeks - Have more physical contact, kissing ect. Three Months - Sexytime. Four/Five Months (Maybe Longer) - "I love you" get's said. Three Years - Move In. Five/Six Years - Engaged Seven Years - Married

Theme: Body Modification - The Fuck Up's Christina/Venus   (£40) - Randomly went walk about when I was in the shower. Looked down and it wasn't there, had to put a scaffold bar through that was twice the size that it should have been, got the correct bar the next day. Hole has been slightly stretched by the larger bar so the smaller  bar keeps sinking into the hole. However, it's getting better! Love the piercing to much to see it go. I just refuse to let it happen.  Tongue Web (£30)  - This one came loose and I couldn't get it back in. So, the only way I could do was to to stretch my tongue web with a taper and screw it back in that way. Took an hour to do it all. Ended up swallowing it the same night. Ear Stretching   (£25 Kit) - I had a plastic screw in ear gauge. The back of the gauge snapped in two. I had no other gauge to put in and the rent's didn't know I have stretched my ear, so the only way I could conceal the 10mm hole, was to sellotape the gaug

Theme: Piercing, Fixed! So yes, I went back again today. They fixed it. Thank goodness. Although the bar I put in when I was panicking was highly comfortable, it wasn't practical.  Click here to see the size difference (don't worry kid's! This image is child friendly). The piercer said that it's still healing well and looking good. Doesn't look irritated or anything. I've brought a spare PTFE bar just in case it happens again and I have also brought another bottle of easypiercing, just in case I also happen to run out of that too. # AllCornersCoverd

Theme: OH SHIT! Right, so I went for a nice relaxing shower earlier. One that I've been dying for all day. I come out of the shower. Sit in my room for about an hour and I decide to put some antibacterial spray on my piercing. Look down. The fucker's up and legged it! All I have been left with is one ball. It's as if it's tormenting me. The bar is huge and I don't see how it's missing. Anyway, in a state of panic I put in a HUGE scaffold bar. Seeing as that's the only thing I have at the moment. I didn't even clean the bar. Just put it straight through. Which was dumb. However, I have cleaned it as much as I could whilst it was in. I'm going back tomorrow to get it changed. I bet they are sick of seeing me and I bet they think I get a thrill out of flashing my bits. This is so embaressing. 

Theme: Old Men I spent about four hours in the canteen with Shaun today, due to classes being well, shit. So we figured we would skive them. As always. It's became a common thing among us two now. Anyway, for the first time ever, we were discussing relationships and what sort of thing's we would go for in great depth. Turns out I'm a fairly shallow person who's age limits are 17-30. No higher. However, the new thing I found out about Shaun is that she likes the more older, more pensioner variety. Where as I like anything that resembles Emile Hirsch. 

Theme: Halloween I already know what this years Halloween costume is going to be...

Theme: Piercing Went to go get my piercing checked over and get some more 'easypiercing' spray. Turns out my piercing is okay and that as soon as the bar is shortened it will look more straight. Thank goodness I couldn't handle it being pierced again.

Theme: Work Done nothing, just went work, came and, and just being my miserable self. I'm to tierd to care about anything at the moment.

Theme: Tears-R-Us Today I was watching for the first time, the mudge boy. With the main character being Emile Hirsch. It was incredibly, incredibly weird. Yet so heart breaking. I just wanted to smash my TV screen so I could climb my way to him and just hug him. I felt the same way when I watched 'Imaginary Hero's'. I just wanted to cuddle him, because he seemed like such a lost soul. I get way to attached to my characters. Anyway, I'm not watching Alpha dog, which has, guess who in it? Emile Hirsch. Dayum I love having my Mondays back.

Theme: Happy! For once, on a sunday, I am happy. That's a huge shock. However, nothing is happening. This is because, it's a sunday!

Theme: ....Still Uneven Piercing is still uneven. I am terrified that I am going to have to get it re-pierced again, simply because of the pain. I was putting my piercing spray on it earlier and I noticed something and I instantly thought it was infection. In the state of having a panic attack I frantically googled in. When I nearly found what I was look for, my mum decided she wanted to call me down to help clean up. As my mind wasn't at rest, I was in a panic attack state the whole time. Me and infection's just don't go. I freak out. Turn's out what's there is natural with piercings. Thank fuck.

Theme: Piercing Update My piercing is uneven. Apparently some piercing's do this due to swelling. I contacted the piercer and she said that's what it was and that it can also be the material used. People like me shouldn't get piercing's, we get to impatient and expect it to be healed within a day. I just want it to hurry up and be even.

Theme: Ouch! I got my Christina piercing and I can honestly say, I have never been in so much pain my whole life. She put the needle in four times as there where issues putting the jewellery in. I just can't believe how painful it really was. Each time she stuck the needle in the pain was getting worse and worse but I think by the fourth time my body was just like "bring it on, bitch!" and didn't hurt so much. It's beautiful and I'm so happy with it. Although, it is still so incredibly uncomfortable. It's a miracle I can move. Even when I don't move, it hurts. I'm so happy I finally did it. "Smart has the brains, but stupid has the balls." - Anonymous ♥

Theme: Piercing Plans! I booked to get the Christina piercing today. It's something I have wanted for years but never had the balls to do it. I kept coming up with a reason why I shouldn't get it, such as my weight ect. But this week I basically just thought fuck it, if I don't get it now, then I never will. I'm terrified I won't lie. I feel like I'm going to throw up a vital organ. Dear lord. It's only cost me £40 which is pretty cheap compared to usual places that charge £60.

Theme: Crap I don't feel so good right now. I just feel so let down by things in the past few days it's kind of like, leaves me wondering if there is something wrong with me. Why don't people want to be around me? Am I some sort of a poisonous snake? " I rely on myself Just making sure that was clear, I'm not in need of your crutches. " - This Is The House That Built Doubt, ADTR ♥