Ramblings Of A Rambler

Theme: Backdating. Whoops! I can't remember what I did. My bad. That's what you get for not back dating. I never mentioned, that the bear at gym got back to me. He was cool with it! Bugger me. From past experience's, I was half expecting some sort of emotional break down.

Theme: Awful! Awful! Awful Person! My gym friend asked me out on another dinner date. The worst thing about it is that he's text me to ask me. I couldn't put it off any longer. I feel so damn awful for telling him. It was my damn intention to tell him to his face but it kind of had to be done. I feel so bad for him. I feel like I've just ran over a kitten, wondered what the bump was and reversed to check it out. He's not text me back. I kind of don't blame him, as telling him through text is a vile thing to do. But it had to be done, I couldn't really leave it till any later as the further and further it was getting the worse it was getting. I'm more than happy to have him as a friend but, I just feel so awful. I hate waiting for a reply to a text like this, I need to know what his reaction is.

Theme: Celebration! My little blogspot is one year's old today. Well done me, well done. I have been blogging everyday for the past year. I am incredibly surprised I kept it up. In a way, I'm dead surprised I even have reader's. I know that Steve read's it, but I'm not sure if Mark, who used to read it, still does so. But I'm still here, I'm still blogging and I know I won't be quitting any time soon. It's something to look back on I guess. Like I did with my last blog, that was bloody awful when I looked back on it. To many bad memories and literally no good one's, why I never written down positive memories I will never know. That's why I am so chuffed with myself with this blog, because I have made sure I have included positive memories, memories I want to remember. Also, because I have managed to do it everyday for a year. I wonder what the next year of blogging will be like. I wonder how much I have changed since my very first entry,

Theme: I beg of thee! I went into Ann Summer's today for a browse and to pick up some Ben Wa Balls. I also went into Ann Summer's to pick up this . It's only £5 and I am beyond desperate to have it. Unfortunetly, Ann Summer's didn't have it and they aren't sure when they are next getting it in. I can't order it online as my mum check's my bank statement every now and again. If some kind soul out there will order it for me, I will more than happily pay for it! Please please please please. I want this so damn bad. Please! I even have the money in my damn wallet. Desperation doesn't even cut it. Omfg, Please.

Theme: Jiggle Balls!   I went into Ann Summer's to buy these bad boys today. There look a lot smaller online then they really are. Fuck me, got them in the shop, brought them home and holy hell, when faced with them, they are so intensely intimidating. If I saw them for the first time, my first reaction would have probably been "THEY GO WHERE?!". I first looked into them because 50 shade's of grey made many upon many reference's about how earth shattering they can be. 50 shade's of grey couldn't be any more wrong. They aren't really used for that. The real reason is to as sick as this sounds, even for me, is to tighten you up to make sex better, or in my case, going solo. I put them in when I got home, which could have been made easier with a bit of lube, but I'm to cheap for that. I put them in, stood up and all I could hear as them banging and clashing together every-time I walked. They clearly we'rent in right. So after lot's of rath

Theme: Steve! Went to town today to see Steve. We went to go the Canby* museum today. Unfortunetly as we got there so early, it was shut. So we went to walk to the Brook's Museum. We got lost, multiple time's. We got there in the end though. I think Brook's Museum is doing some refurbishment as there where lot's of thing's missing and/or being moved about. A lot of thing's are broken, for example every single touch-screen machine. We still had fun though. We also learnt something new, like that penis's don't have bone's in them. We sat in this pod thing and just chinwagged for a bit, before we moved onto Pendleton Hall. I've never been to Pendleton Hall before and I've always wanted to go as it's like a hot spot for ghost's and things as it's such an old Victorian building. Anyway, after getting lost (again) we eventually found it. It was closed. Dafuq. So in the end Steve and I went shopping. I took her to one of my 'hippi

Theme: Oooh Friend! Off out with Shaun tomorrow. We haven't hung out since 'Life of Pi'. We plan to visit some museum's. I sound really old when I say that, but it's incredibly fun. We always take some of the most innocent thing's in such a wrong way. I'll have to post photo's so you can see what I mean. I'm greatful the snow is going so hopefully neither of us will trip over tomorrow (or fall down a hill). Other than that I haven't been doing anything today. It's Sunday, my one day off from the gym. So if anyone expect's me to do anything, then they can just get fucked. I plan to go to bed early, read, and watch 'the hotel'. By the way, my friend, Shaun is trying to write a book, go encourage her by sending her lot's of messages to keep her on track. Click  here to get onto Shaun's novel blog. I want to make sure she see's this one through, as I know she can do it.

Theme: Tears 'R' Us I've been needing to cry everyday for this past week, but I've just not had time to myself or had the chance to think things over. I've just completely vomited my emotions over poor Steve. It just feels amazing to finally get some time to myself to just emotionally splurge. I've spent three weeks at the gym and I can't help but feel as though that takes a lot out of me. When I joined I had to go through a psychological test, I hope when my next review is I'm not in the same state I am now. I'm such a female. Sorry Steve.

Theme: Granddad, Take Two He's joined. He's actually joined. He's going two day's a week. My time is instantly violated. I hope he stays the fuck away from me. Gym time is my time to just y'know. My god. Why now, why after nineteen year's has he just decided to bother with me? Dafuq.

Theme: Same Bloke, Different Situation. I'm talking about the bloke from this entry. I'm going to call him 'Sid' as I feel there's going to be a fair few entries about him...Anyway, I went to the gym today and I met Sid. I looked disgusting and was sweating so much that I could have caused a flooding. Yet he saw me and said "You look good." Bitch, you blind? We where just talking and generally exercising. I went to leave to do my weight's but we exchanged number's before I left. Now he won't stop texting me. He like's me. It's obvious. It's not that he's ugly, or a cunt. He's a lovely guy. But that's the problem, he's a guy ( or Emile Hirsch ). He did ask me if I had a boyfriend, and for the obvious reason I said no. I have no idea how to tell him I'm as straight as a round-a-bout. I want to tell him as soon as possible to sort of, not lead him on. This is a lesson for all of you, never assume that someone is

Theme: Some people never age! I don't know why I was thinking about this today, but I was thinking about people that literally never age. One of these people that came to mind was William Bludworth from final destination, real name Tony Todd. He was also in 'Candy Man'. He literally does not change from Candyman (1992) to Final Destination (2012). I have no idea what anti-ageing cream he is using, but whatever it is, it's working, and working well. He should be the face of Nivea's anti-ageing cream. John green, aged thirty-five. Look's more like a twenty year old. He doesn't grow old. I wouldn't want him to either. Another person who doesn't grow old is Benjamin Button!

Theme: Granddad.   I have a granddad, which I just so happen, cannot stand. He talk's complete and utter shit. It's embarrassing. I'm only alive when he want's me to be alive, which isn't often. Now all of a sudden, he want's to come gym with me. I see the gym people so much, that I can stand and have a lengthy conversation with them. He come's, he will embarrass me (not intentionally) but because he's such a twat, he will do it. By being so so dumb. Gym time, is my time. My time to exercise, my time to be alone with my thought's and sometime's my time to even socialise. All that shit is coming to an end because he will be hovering and talking shit to all the new people I have met. People are always invading on my happy time's. For example, Hannah got all up in my grill when she came to my mediumship class. Why? Just why? In a way, I'd rather have Hannah at the gym because then I can just abandon her on a machine, where as my grandda

Theme: The impossible I went to go see a film in the cinema with my mum the other day, called 'the impossible'. It was about a family  that was effected by the T-Sunami. It was amazing . I think if I was on my own, I'd be in absolute tears. It had an absolutely fantastic actor in it (Ewan Mcgregor) he did a fantastic job. A film worth watching again, and again, and possibly, again.

Theme: I've found my exercise music. I like cheesy music, okay! Whilst I was on the exercise bike, I discovered a real liking for George Michael and Britney Spears. I can't listen to depressing shit when exercising, otherwise it makes the whole exercising experience depressing. So don't judge! I think everyone has a little bit of cheese about them. I love the whole cheesy thing, it's brilliant and put's be in a great mood! I was also mean't to go to work today, but as the snow is still about I can't. Not that I am complaining. I spent it by watching shitty hororr films about 'Waverly Hills Sanatorium' which I am so bloody desperate to go visit. It's on my bucket list. 6 Days Till 1st Year Blogging Anniversary!

Theme: Brother! I didn't mention, that my brother has officially moved into his house on Friday. I went to visit him and his garden is massive. It's brilliant, and I'm dead chuffed for them, the house is the exact layout of my grandma's which is actually kind of strange. My brother and sister-in-law live literally round the corner. I just wish them the best of luck!

Theme: Dafuq is this! Lazy day is here! I rolled out of bed for breakfast and pills, rolled back into bed, and later on rolled back out for a shower and dinner. Then I sat on my arse waiting for supper. Day well spent. I had my treat as well today, which is still healthy. It was an egg mayonnaise sandwich, but seeing as I am not allowed bread I enjoyed every moment of it.

Theme: Gym and snow! My friend was meant to be coming today but due to the shit loads of amount of snow she can't make it, which is cool because we are just leaving it till next week. Other than that, I slaved away at the gym and now I am just resting, all excited for my day off of life tomorrow. I don't even intend to get dressed, well I will, I'll get changed in clean pj's. I ain't no scrubba.

Theme: The fuck is wrong with you? I went to the gym today, as usual. Although as it's an absolute blizzard outside I went a little later, the same time the the person I made friend's with goes. Well today, I finished the gym set on my todd, and when I came out the gym, I looked my worse. Fat, red, hair everywhere, dripping of sweat and generally crawling along the floor. But when I was crawling out, he was going in. We sat and talked for a bit. Then I realised I had a bit of a third boob going on. It was the wire from my bra. Just sticking out. Just there....I pushed it back in like, but pushing a bra wire back in, isn't an easy or subtle thing to do. He noticed. So does it surprise you he asked me out? I said yes. I'm a lesbian. Emile Hirsch is my weakness, and he is no Hirsch. Why in the world did I say yes? It's like I have dating tourettes. Even better, after I said yes, I pretty much told him to fuck off. 11 Days Till 1st Year Blogging Anniversary!

Theme: Thinner Face! My mum think's I've lost about half a stone as my face is looking less chinny and to be honest, I'm eating rabbit food. I nearly burst into tear's today because the hunger pain's got do bad. My snack's on consisting of fruit. Joy. Although, if I was offered chocolate or a take away or something along those line's, I'd say no, it would be like shitting on everything I have done. Still, hunger pains hurt.

Theme: Nearly A Year! On the 29th January it will be a year since I started this blog. I'm pretty chuffed to bit's with myself that I have managed to keep it up this long. Blog everyday, for a whole year. Granted I've had to back date every now and again, and granted I've even forgotten what I did that day so back dating was made difficult. But I'm still here, still blogging!

Theme: Ooooh, day off! Got a day off from work, score! It's because the person that I work with is in hospital. So my plan for today is gym and slob the fuck out. Also, I'm going to catch up on my reading. I haven't read in so long I miss it. Give me some John Green!

Theme: Same Old, Same Old. Gym. Eat. Sleep. That's pretty much it. My day's are very much the same, but I don't dislike that, at the moment. Just hunting for jobs as usual. There's fucking nothing about. Someone hire me, please?

Theme: Woah there girl, slow down! I know for the past few days my blog entries have pretty much consisted of going to the gym. I'm going to try and tone it down. But who knew so much damn drama can go on at the gym? I mean, really. Also, every-time I'm at the gym the only thing that goes through my head is the song disco inferno. I don't actually know the rest of the lyrics, so the only thing I hear is "Burn baby burn, disco inferno!". I'm kinda cool with that to be fair. I kind of hope that plays on Saturday.

Theme: You either use a machine, or GTFO.  Yesterday, I said "I sort of bike for a minute, and sit there like a log for twenty." Well, whilst I was at the gym, I experienced real loggers. As it was a Saturday, the gym was pretty busy. There are a lot of machines there, but most of the weight machine's they only have one machine to use, where as bikes, they have a lot so more than one person can use a bikes ect. But these, these logs, just sat there on the weight machines. The weight machines that I wanted to use. They weren't even using it. They sat on it staring into space almost expecting the machine to do the work. I mean what the hell. I had to double my time in the gym on other machine's to wait for them all to leave. Then there was this little Justin Beiber kid in there who had no idea what he wad doing, and instead of sitting on a weight machine  he either stood incredibly close to it hoping that he could some how move the weight's with his eyes or h

Theme: Lost.. Today was my first day off from the gym. I felt lost to be honest. Lost and restless. I actually wanted to be at the gym. It's just so much damn fun. The whole experience. Maybe not the logging situation I had yesterday with a few people, but it is fun. I also had a treat today, and as I have cut out bread and sandwiches are my favourite meal I decided to have a chicken sandwich. All I've done today really, was well, nothing. It's just been one big laze about. 

Theme: Holy Jizzam Sticks, PD! A while back I mentioned that I download a period app on my Iphone. I never thought it would be dead on, but yeah, I got the notification this morning and it's pretty damn dead on I can ensure you that. I'm so chuffed that Aunt Irma came before Saturday, as I am off out with Steve to fan club, which I am so damn excited for. I was actually kind of dreading it that Aunt Irma might come around then because I know how much crippling pain I get in. Anyway, it's here so, heck yes. Not so heck yes on the pain that I know is going to come, but it's here and nothing can stop me going out now. Roll on Saturday. But until then, the next few days this will be me:

Theme: Gym, take three. I forgot to mention that I made a friend at the gym yesterday. A slightly hairy friend. A friend that turns round to you and winks at you whilst your sweating all over a bike. Lovely. Although, I guess it would be kind of cool to have a gym friend, I don't think I'd be too picky about a gym friend, I'm the sort of person that would get offer's on steroids because I just 'bff'd' the local gym dealer...Anyway today's gym went well. I woke up and I hurt everywhere. It was ridiculously painful I ended up delaying gym for a little longer as my muscles just couldn't move, and I think them few minutes in bed just did me good, y'know? But I went and when I did it, I did well. Did my usual set: treadmill, bike, then my three set's of weight's. I can honestly say, it really is the bike that kills me. I sort of bike for a minute, sit there like a log for twenty. It canes. I'm the biggest person there but the be quit

Theme: No sign of life! I'm starving. I ache. I'm tired  Second day at gym was great though. I'm now sitting on my sofa nearly falling asleep, waiting for my weight watchers meal. Joy. I'm so excited. Sarcasm removed though, I'm excited for tomorrow's third round. I went swimming as well today, probably another reason why I'm so shattered.

Theme: Gym! Gym was amazing. The personal trainer I have, called Ben, is lovely. When I met up with him he took my height, weight and stomach measurement and made me do a psychological test. Then took me into the gym to show me how certain machine's work. Granted it all about killed me. I did fifteen minutes on the treadmill, fifteen on the bike (which was the worst) then I did twenty reps on three different weight machine's. It was such good fun, but I didn't half sweat, my top was like a different colour by the end of the session. Ben will weigh me every three months and will give me various health tips every now and again. I am now to cut out all bread and drink green tea. I'm replacing the bread with low calorie snack a jacks, that he suggested. Not to keen on the green tea. I've never tried it, he said it was disgusting but it's worth drinking it. I'm so excited to go back tomorrow. I'll be doing one hour of swimming and one hour of gym. I ache

Theme: Its here! I got my signed copy of the into the wild script! I absolutely, completely and utterly love it! The only problem is, is that some of the signatures are slightly pixelated. I'm not that fussed to be fair, as long as I own a copy then I'm all good to be honest! Also Emile Hirsch has posted a new photo of him on Instagram, so I have my full on stalk on today!  

Theme: Implants! Now I know I have spoken about this before in this entry but I have to speak about it again. Fuck I want one. If I had the money I would definitely, definitely, definitely do it. In a shot. I've gone so far as to even picking the clinic to go to, which would be Mya, in Birmingham. However, when I get round to doing it I would obviously shop around more and go to my GP for suggestions. I could never go abroad and get it done. I'd be so paranoid I'd wake up with my nipple sewn onto my knee or some shit. I could never go to a ridiculas size like a DD either. Apparently you go to the consultation suggest what you want and the surgeon will pick the size that's best suited to you physically and suited to what you want. I'm more then happy to stay at the size that I am, which is a C, maybe go that slightly bit bigger. It's just that if I loose weight, I don't want mosquito bites. I hate that when you loose weight your compromising one thing f

Theme: Who uses the word "control" in the same sentence as "food" anyway? Just went and joined the gym. I have an induction on Wednesday with someone called 'Ben' who will basically monitor me throughout my loose fat journey. He will create a scheme that will tell me what machines are best for me, basically he's my fat guardian. Which is kind of cool really. I'm looking forward to Wednesday. I just hope he doesn't look a thing like Emile Hirsch otherwise a certain 'Ben' will be lusted after. Anyway, after I came home from booking that, I munched like half a tin of biscuits...

Theme: Doctor! Doctor! I went to the doctors today to get my stupid gym form filled out. I couldn't join the gym unless I could prove Grimm reaper isn't out to get me yet. I'm also having an issue with my hands, when I wake up my hands are awfully numb. To the point where I can't pick up anything for at least ten minutes. My Doctor thinks its just a trapped nerve however I still have to go for a blood test next Wednesday, otherwise, I'm still alive and blogging.

Theme: Sunday Bore Not doing much today to be fair as its Sunday. I got up at intensely late (12:00am) So all I've done today is go for a shower and got changed into clean pj's and messed around with my new 'The hobbit' puzzle!

Theme: Into The Wild Watched 'Into The Wild' for the fifth billionth time, but this time I was watching it with my parents and they bitched and moaned through out the whole thing. So I made sure I watched it right until the last credit rolled. That will teach you. :)

Theme: Books! I've got plenty of books I want to buy this year, so I'm going to make me a list: When I Was Five I Killed Myself by Howard Buten It's Kind of a Funny Story by Ned Vizzini The Spells Bible by Ann-Marie Gallagher *More to be added*

Theme: Walking into Mordor with Steve Went shopping with Steve today. I brought myself a hobbit puzzle which I am currently suffering through. I never realised how much puzzles test your patience! After shopping we both went to see the "The life of pi". It's really not as good as it looks. Three people walked out within 20 minutes. Granted it wasn't so bad that it warranted a wall out, however, its not something I'd choose to watch again. Some films you can only watch once, and that was one of them. Still had a good day. Now I'm sitting at home absolutely shattered. Steve: "Comma comma comma Flamingo."

Theme: Piercing! I'm thinking of getting another piercing, one "down there". I love my Christina so much I want to get something similar. I HATE piercings that have a ring, its just not for me. Rings look okay on the nose, otherwise, I think rings should be left to men. So I will be getting another little bar. I plan to get the VCH (vertical clitoral hood) I'm not getting it for feeling enchantment, however it does this, I'm getting it for pure aesthetic reasons. I think that would be it for down there. I have liked the Christina piercing since the moment I seen it and fell in love with it. I have only ever liked the VCH but I'm starting to like it more and more. I just don't want to overload that area because Id find it kind of scary, for example the triangle piercing or getting every inch of your labia pierced is just to much. So I make a vow to myself now, no more down there!

Theme: New Years Day! It's obvious I'm not doing much today. I'd like to meet at least one person who does thing's on a new years day. All I'm doing is sitting around a TV, reading a John Green novel and eating thing's that are so not good for me.