Ramblings Of A Rambler

Theme: Weather Change I don't know if it's just me, but it's been seriously cold today so I just sat and hibernated on the sofa. All ill and shit.

Theme: Interview My interview today went okay. When I got there I had to do a maths question. I looked at it like five time's and nearly burst into tears because I thought I couldn't do it. Then I realised I skipped like all the writing at the top that told me how to work it out...so yeah. It was a piece of piss. When I was in the waiting room all the other candidates were dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. Some where even carrying there shopping. I'll be super pissed if they get the job and not me. Damn it. Massive thank you to Steve for helping me out. :)

Theme: I'm So Nervous I Could Vomit, Blogspot, Will You Hold My Hair Back? I have my interview tomorrow. Everything's ready. I've painted my nails, cleaned my shoes, ironed my clothes and even shaved my feet (I'm turning into a hobbit).  I've found a list of questions online and Steve has also helped me out with what sort of thing's to expect so just cross your fingers for me. By the way blogspot, look what Steve made for me:

Theme: Fit I had another epileptic fit yesterday. That technically means I can't learn to drive for another two years. Which limits me so much for job's it's unbelievable. I don't remember much and I've come out with a fair few war wounds. We're not telling the doctors. I need to learn to drive. At the end of the day, when I'm about to have a fit I'm so screwed up I wouldn't even know how to work a car. In March I had a fit the day before I was two years fit free, which means I could have learned then. Next March I would have been fit free for two years if it wasn't for this fit. Damn it.

Theme: Friends I'm feeling so much better then yesterday. I swear it's a Sunday thing. I get all depressed so I'm going to have to do my living best to distract myself as much as possible in the future. I know who my friend's are, and they are awesome. I just hope if I get this HCA job that I make friend's the way Steve has in her job. I hate the way I'm pinning my hopes on this bloody job. I shouldn't. I know I shouldn't. The good thing is, is that they've given an interview. So it give's me a little confidence to keep applying, I'll go all shawshank redemption on there ass and hound them. 

Theme: Left Behind I've done 352 blogs and I've kept them all as positive as possible, aside from the bitching.  I've decided I can no longer do that. Fuck it. I'm just going to write down my raw feelings. All my friend's are growing up. They have jobs and just new friend's. I'm jobless and my friend's are becoming more and more distant. They don't need me any more. I'm a chapter in there lives which they are closing. I'm living in a dream world right now because it's the only way I can cope with the thing's that are going on around me. I'm scared that if I do get this NHS job, that I won't have friend's there either. I'll be having breaks on my own and just being...on my own. I'm afraid of my own lifeless existence. 

Theme: Say What? It's actually Sunday today, but I have no memory of what I did on the Saturday. So that's a major back dating fail. Would you agree?

Theme: Bipolar, Take Two. My mood is still very bipolar. It's been a hectic day. Went fairly well, there's so much to say, but so little energy to do so.

Theme: Bipolar My moods have been seriously bipolar today. I actually couldn't handle it so I just slept in a way to escape it. When I woke, thing's did seem a lot better. I feel fragile at the moment so it's really easy to hurt me right now. On the plus side, I filled in all my NHS forms and I picked the wards I wanted to work on. Well, they all seem pretty awesome to be fair and I'd be happy to work on all of them. I had a choice between: gynecology,  planned care, cardiology and I think A & E. I won't lie, I am crossing my fingers for Gynecology and A&E, I just think they would both be really interesting. I will be let down if I don't get this.  I am trying so hard not to get my hopes up. I've even brought heels for my interview and I never wear heels. 

Theme: Training Same thing as yesterday happened. It's all boring and very repetitive. 

Theme: Well someone's had there bitch flakes this morning... Went to do some more training at work today. There was a girl there who was really get on the trainers nerves. You could just see it in his body language. It was fairly funny to watch. Otherwise, it's really boring and I'm at there tomorrow, so no doubt I will have anything to say tomorrow either. Damn it, my blog is so boring lately.

Theme: Lay About I haven't done much today other then apply for some more jobs and just lay about. As the 30th approaches I get more and more excited for my job interview. I'm terrified as I have no idea what they are going to ask me, yet I can't wait.

Theme: Fasting, Take Two. My fasting went well yesterday. I obviously finished it this morning. The next time I will fast will be his birthday, next year. Bring it on.

Theme: Fasting/Chris McCandless. Today is the 20th anniversary since the death of Christopher McCandless. In his memory I am fasting for the day it's 4:10pm. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't hungry. I went on a binge last night, haha. I haven't got many hours to go really, so I will be okay. Rest in peace Chris. Even twenty years on and people still think about you.

Theme: Big Bang Theory. Now that I've got my mum into the big bang theory, I figured I might as well by the DVD box set. Nom Nom Nom. I really want to buy myself some t-shirts. Especially the "rock, paper, scissors, lizard, Spock." one. I think the next time I get paid I might treat myself.

Theme: Nothing's happened today, so I'm compensating with a gif.  

Theme: Oooh Job Opportunities! I got a message from the hospital today. I sent off my CV to them and they've got back to me, inviting me to an interview. Hell yeah. Me and Steve have had a little giggle about me ending up on her ward.  "I'll be your JD to your Turk."

Theme: Work Not done a lot today. Just went work. Everything is just so so.

Theme: College Grades I forgot to mention I got my college grades. I got fifteen distinctions, three merits and one pass. Go me. My mum is going to buy me a onesie as a present. 

Theme: For Once, I'm Themeless.

Theme: Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock. I haven't been doing much lately. Just been watching the big bang theory. I've been watching it so much even my mum like it's now. Great success!

Theme: Training. I got a phone call from my work office today, and yes, I have to do yet more training. I have just passed college and they want me to learn how to communicate. Once more, they are making me do it on the only day I work and they won't pay me. 

Theme: Shopping! Didn't do a lot today. It's my mum's day off so we decided to go shopping. I came back with nothing but ordered everything off the internet. Everything's so much cheaper of the internet. Anom. But yeah, overall it was a pretty good day.

Theme: Blushing Still reading fifty shades of shit. Finished the eighth chapter. My perseverance was rewarded. Very much so. Even though, there is still no sex to be seen, Mr.Grey invited her into his chamber and he whipped out all these rules for her and it's starting to heat up! Well it was anyway, until he turned into a massive cunt about her being a virgin. DAMN IT MR.GREY, WHY YOU SO MEAN?

Theme: Fifty Shades Of Shit I'm still reading fifty shades of grey. It really is shit. I'm just coming up to the end of chapter five and I have skipped half of it as some of the thing's in there are just not needed. They serve no purpose in the book what's so ever. If the author cut all the crap out she would of have five chapters easily turned into just one. Damn it.

Theme: Nothingness. Done nothing today. I think I am going to stop applying for care jobs (unless hospital based) because I just can't do it. The thing is with working in a hospital you don't see the same face's all the time. So it wouldn't be so bad for me. Or maybe I'm being to picky. I mean at the moment, I am applying for everything and anything. With a hospital you are rushed of your feet unlike a care home. 

Theme: Job Interview Had the interview today. It went...okay. It was all a bit rushed and I can't help but feel something isn't right with it. When I walked into the guys house, it was full of kid's thing's some of which being Lego. My instant thought was: Steve. It just had Steve written all over it.

Theme: Job Interview I have another job interview tomorrow. I applied for it MONTHS ago and only just heard something back from him now. Seem's strange. But a job interview is a job interview! So can't complain. Wish me luck.

Theme:  Gumtree Posted another advertisement of myself on gumtree. Let's cross finger's for a caller. Sorry that all I am blogging about lately is job's. I really am not doing much with my time. 

Theme: Job Interview Review My interview went really well. She was really impressed with my answer's and such. The thing is, the job is a nigh time shift, which I am more then happy to do, but they will pay me £4.98 an hour. Hell no. That's stupid. I didn't get the job offered to me anyway.

Theme: Job Interview I have a job interview tomorrow at a care home for people with dementia. At first I was happy but now I'm seriously depressed. Everything I ever wanted had now completely gone out the window. Everything. Also, everything that I said I didn't want to do, I've ended up doing. 

Theme: I can't even...     Some thing's you can't ever unsee....but some thing's you just don't want to.