Ramblings Of A Rambler

Theme: Let Down, Again. As you know in my last blog, I was meant to go clubbing with one of my friend's. In a mad rush, I went shopping as I don't have many clothes. Let's be honest, big people's clothes are somewhat expensive. In order to go shopping, I pulled my very reluctant mum out of work an hour early for her to take me. My friend turned me down. What's worse is that my mum actually said she would do it. So when I went to tell my mum, I didn't look at her in eyes. I just felt that look of pity she was giving me. I think it's because she knows how much I have been let down in my life and she knows how much it hurts me. Don't get me wrong, some reason's are excusable about why someone can't make it, but the reason this friend gave me. She was basically just blowing me off. Bitch. I'm disappointed dispute my anxiety about the event. As soon as my Emile Hirsch film's come, I'm going to put them away and save them till Saturday, s...

Theme: Woah. Yeah, nothing has happened. It's a Sunday. What do you expect?

Theme: Social Anxiety I'm going out with a friend next week to town/club. I've been waiting to go for a long time, but now I have the opportunity to go, I feel as nervous as fuck. I guess it's because I just have no idea what to wear. As I am somewhat of a big build, it's the thought of someone coming up to me in a drunken stupor and mentioning it. Or worse, if they are sober. If they are sober, then they meant what they just said. I won't be wearing a dress, that's for sure. I feel at home in jeans. Jeans and trainers. I can't wearing trainers, so that add's to anxiety. Not only that, it's being in a room full of strangers. People can be so cruel and it's just the thought of them approaching me with negative intentions. When people approach me now a days with positive intentions, I am so paranoid because of my past, that I question what their motives were for approaching me. I just automatically believe they are taking the piss.

Theme: Zombie! Yes, finally, the zombie event has been booked. Shaun & I are going so soon. Sooner then we, well I thought really. Just enough time to get a random zombie t-shirt and to practice running the fuck away. It took forever to finally get it booked, but that was a issue on their part. I'm just grateful it's all sorted now. Excited really isn't the word. :)

Theme: 100% Published My book is 100% published and is ready to be brought. In fact, some of my friend's have already done so. I haven't heard a bad word yet, but I don't know if they are just being nice. Considering it only taken me two hours. I'm impressed with myself. I won't lie, I do hope to write another. To check how my short story, and to cringe at the cringe worthy synopsis, click here.

Theme:  Publishing! - Bullocks.  It's be reviewed and passed and published! However, I've had some settings issues like with the payment. People can only pay through cheque which isn't ideal as my parent's down know I've published my own book, let alone my own erotica book. So I have to go all the way to the bank tomorrow to get certain codes so that people can pay electronically. After I get the code, and put everything in correctly, it has to go through the twelve hour review stage...again. As soon as I've sorted it all out, I'll post a link on here to it! Until then, I just hope no one buy's it. Cheque's mean shit to me.